alone..unrequited

grad-----boards-----job

that was the supposed to be the sequence of events for several graduates, but for me i got boards and job interchanged. after two days of being in a sky high knowing that i passed that exam, i was back at work. not that i do not want it, but i dont know where will i be now. i dont know if i can stay and tolerate this monotony and routinic life. wake up-go to work at 8- go home at 6-watch tv-sleep and then the cycle was repeated. well, this goes for weekdays but up to know, i do not have any plans yet for weekends. that is supposed to be my leisure time. i can't explain but something is lacking. i miss the freedom. the freedom to do anything. the freedom of spending my time. the freedom of choosing who to hang out with. i miss it, them, those--i miss a lot.

i am very much blessed for having this job, for getting paid, for being with the people i am with now but i always feel there's a big BUT..i just pray to God to show me the way, to light up my blurring sight, to clear my shadowy mind, to eliminate this confusion and to give me that peace of mind--that peace in my heart.

*my title was quite out of the contents of my blog BUT those two words explain what i am feeling right now. hope this will not last. ciao for now.