MAY 2010

And the world continue to turn..and soon another year in addition to my age.. i will be 23 by June..Realizations are coming in, my age is getting older..and have to admit that i'm being one of the grown-ups that are being carried and consumed by matters of consequence..

i miss being young, i miss being idealistic, i miss that eagerness for learning- that eagerness in life i had when i was a student. somehow, as things changes and so i did forgot the things i am really up to and things i most enjoy.

i miss friendships..real one..where i can be myself and be loud and happy..

i miss that sense of achievement.. of purpose..that feeling you have when you feel your utmost importance to people.

guess i was too consumed by work. they are correct, we work to get a life but work is not only our life. and now that all these uncertainties on maintaining that job sets in, it is when you will realize these things.

and now i am writing to empty my heart.
i have to get my life back
i should get on and make my own life.

'Walang iwanan'

Two words i just heard a week ago that made me cry...yes, he's used to see me crying and doing the 'kimmy' moment in front of him. But this time he was surprised. Neither of us i guess thought that we will go this far. We are way too different. But instead of focusing with our differences, we decided to look and zoom in the things where we can fit together. Six months had passed and lot of things happened. I am growing up... I bet it is hard for him waiting for me to act maturely with all these croooked situations we are in. But he's not giving up and so am I. We can never tell how long it will last and what are the things we are willing to give up to make this last. We are not even sure if this love is worth giving up a thing or anything. But I trust that Lord will make His way to give the best for us.

Yes, loving is making yourself vulnerable. And now I am vulnerable.